PeopleWithMS.com

Hello everyone! My name is Betty or you can call me Betty Jo or Jo or BJ. I might even answer to HEY YOU! just to get my attention. I just wanted to tell a little bit about myself. I am married and have been for 33 years. My husband and I are high school sweethearts. I meet him at the first dance of my freshman year. Sam was a junior. We attended Catholic schools. He went to an all boy school and I went to an all girl school.

We have 3 grown children, 2 boys and 1 girl. We also have 3 grandchildren with another soon to be born. The grandchildren so far are 2 girls and 1 boy with another girl on the way.

I had lived in Florida when I had all three of our children. When my daughter was 6 months old I started to have numbness on one side of my body and across my forehead. She was our last child. It just worked out that way before the diagnosis of MS. I had also a sensitivity to cold. It would hurt if I walked on cold floors with bare feet.

I had gone to my regular doctor and he could not figure out what was going on so he sent me to a neurologist. He did his usually tests in his office. He checked my reflexes, he had me close my eyes and moved my big toe to see if I could sense any movement. I didn't. I was admitted to a hospital and I went through all the tests that they had at that time. A CAT scan and a Spinal Tap and blood tests. I did not react very strongly to the words given to me by the doctor when I had been told that I had MS. I just said OK. I think the doctor had been more upset than I was at the time. I had called my husband from the hospital after I had received the news as he had to stay home with our kids. He had reacted very strongly with the news but not on the phone with me. He was very upset. It had not sunk in with me. It would not sink in for a week or so. When it did, I just cried. I didn't know what to do. All I was really concerned about was whether it would be passed onto my children.

Through the years, I had done pretty well. I had RR and I handled it pretty well. I took care of my kids. I eventually worked full time after my last child started kindergarten. I was able to work in the school where my kids attended school. I was able to get off when they had holidays and their summer breaks.

I did have relapses but they weren't too bad at first. I was able to ride horses and play racquet ball. . So I had a problem from time to time. It would pass. I might have to have a steroid to stop it but then I would be OK. I felt I could do anything

My stress level started to rise when my husband took a job in another state and I had to stay back and let our oldest finish out his senior year. It was a 6 month separation. I had to continue to work, take care of 3 kids, compute back and forth to an apartment after selling our house, and be without my husband. It took its toll. I had a major relapse. It had been a problem with my eyes. My left eye would not move. I also had double vision. The doctor told me to stop working for 3 weeks. I couldn't do that (or so I thought) as I had been the only support in the School's office so I had to compromise with 2.

I now couldn't work but I also couldn't drive. My depth perception was off so it was also hard to cross a street to go for a walk by myself. My husband was still gone and I had to take care of my kids. Thank goodness I had my son that could drive. He was my savior as he could at least get me to my doctor's appointments and shopping. As it had turned out, the staff at school had not taken any notice that I had been out sick or asked about me upon my return. I also had left the school after 7 years and the staff had not realized I would be doing that too. Moral: Take care of yourself!

Everything did get turned around and it was just a big bump in the road.

My mountain came in 2002. Secondary Progressive! This was when I had to stop working and I needed to get a wheelchair. I also was able to get a power chair. I now have a walker and a quad cane and a regular cane. I also have a van so I can transport all of this in.

That was a very hard day, month, year....for me. It was extremely hard on both of us. My husband had stopped considering me his partner because I could not remember things and process things. He had been having a difficult time with me because of my slowness in getting places. I could not remember things said and I had to ask for things to be repeated and he did not believe I did not remember. I had difficulty walking. I could not walk further than 3 blocks. I needed a wheelchair. I was able to get one and a power chair. My husband also bought a van for me so I could transport the power chair. He expected me to use it as soon as I received it. It had been as much of a change for me as for him. I could not get him to understand. My husband had wanted to separate because he had difficulties handling the changes. We didn't!

We went to therapy. We talked. It was a very slow process. I took a more active role in myself. I learned more about what is going on with me and the MS and how it is affecting others around me. That has helped.

There are still hurdles for us. We are still working on them. It is not easy but we are trying. Sam has told me that he does not want to leave me. He tells me he loves me. We are going on a cruise for our anniversary.

I am giving it another try.....remember when he had told me I wasn't his partner...we had been in Hawaii on vacation for my birthday.