Hi, this is me...Judy. Taken at family wedding...
This is my husband, my best friend, Reed...taken on our 30th anniversary, last August...
This is my oldest son with his family...precious, ah... 
My youngest son and his fiancé... 
This is me with my 4-wheeler...LOL
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Hello, my name is Judy and this is
how it all started for me. I can remember back in 1987 when I would go
down stairs, my legs would give out in a funny kind of way. It was just
weird but I never said anything. I thought it would just go away. In
1991 my dad passed away in December and that was a very hard time for
me. Losing a parent is not an easy thing to go through. The following
February 11, which was my birthday, I was taking my shoe off, the lazy
kind of way, (LOL) taking my right foot and trying to take my left shoe
off from the back of the left heal. I got this really sharp nerve pain
that radiated from the left foot to the of the leg. Now that hurt
really bad, bad enough for me to call the doctor. She had me go in. She
checked for inflammation but nothing was there but told me to keep an
eye on it. That night the pain got worse. I couldn't even use that leg
to turn myself over in bed. The pain started to radiate up to my butt
cheek. Not to long after that, it was the lower back. The pain was so
intense, I couldn't even get myself off the couch without first
crawling off the couch and then getting up off the floor by grabbing
the couch and getting up slowly from all 4's. I went to see my family
doctor again. She mentioned MS to me but she was not a neuralogist and
did not want to make the dx so she referred me to a neuro an hour away
from my home. To shorten this a bit, I went from about 6 different
neuro's, all in the same building, (associates) in 3 years. They would
say one day might be MS, the next day, maybe not, maybe yes, maybe
not...they even suggested I see a shrink. I told them I get dizzy and
fall over, still nothing. I said I am not crazy. Something is wrong
with me. I remember once I called this neuro cause I had tremors so bad
I could hardly speak. She said I really don't know what to do Judy but
if you want to come in make an appointment. I was really pissed off by
then. I went to see my family doctor and she said if they won't refer
you to see someone in Boston, then I will. So off to Boston I went.
When in Boston, in about 10 minutes, a really good neuro there just did
a neurological exam on me, asked me questions and I got my dx. I got
home, my internist put me on Betaseron after talking to the neuro in
Boston. I went back to see the neuro who I had seen before that had
pissed me off and now she was pissed off at me, (because I went to
Boston without her concent) I walked in her office and she looked at me
and said, Judy, if you would have walked in here one day, not being
able to walk, then I would have referred you to Boston. So in other
words, she was just waiting for me not to walk anymore before sending
me there, letting her pride come before my health. I looked at her and
said, I told you I wasn't crazy, I paid her and said, good bye. My
internist I think is the one who saved my life, not a neurologist. Ok so now, this gets more interesting. I told you in my introduction that I have been through hell and back so here goes. I do not remember the dates but I can tell you everything I went through in the past 13 years. After my dx, I had to get a hysterectomy. My doctor told me it might even help relieve some of the lower back pain I was having which I was quite happy about. So I went for it. He said, I will make you a happy face cut, real cute ah, hurt like hell though...LOL...I was only 38 and he decided to leave in one ovary so I would not go into menopause at that early age. Well leave it up to me 2 years later, to the date, I had to go in again, get cut again and take the other ovary out. Now I wish he would have just taken it out 2 years before. I never even noticed the menopause thing and my internist had told me with the MS since I get so much burning, that I might not even notice the hot flashes, which I never did. Ok now after that, I started having problems with my hips. The bursa's were getting inflamed really bad making it really hard for me to walk. (Doctor thinks might have been brought on from the MS) I was bringing groceries up the stairs one day and the bursa on my left hip popped right out and didn't go back in. I drove right to the doctor's office and when she saw me she took me right in. I had surgery the following week. Three months later, they had to do the other hip. I was on crutches for a while. Ok now that the hips were taken care of, I had to have a toe done. (LOL) I had what is called a mallot toe. That toe curled right under making it hard to walk. It was just a toe but talk about pain after the surgery. Then comes the Esophogus. Comes to the point where I can't even swallow water anymore. I had to get what is called a "Nissen Fundoplication". The tests I had to go through before the surgery was horrible. Tubes in the nose, the throat, it was awful. I also had a hiatal hernia so when they went in and operated on the esophogus, they were able to fix the hiatal hernia. Now that surgery was quite hard for me to get through, but I did. Eight months after the Nissen Fundoplication, I had to have another surgery. I had to have 18 inches of my colon removed. I had a blockage and my bowels were no longer working. Well the surgery must have worked cause now I think I am going for the rest of my family, or so they seem to claim...LOL. I think this was the hardest of all surgeries for me. Maybe my body had just had enough, I am not sure what happened but 2 weeks after the surgery, I went through a major depression. My mom had come to stay with me for 2 weeks. She left to go back home on a Friday. My husband left to go to work on Monday and my sister was coming to stay with me and was due to arrive that Monday night. When I got out of bed that Monday morning, I remember coming down the hall, walking towards the kitchen and just started balling. I knew something was wrong but didn't know what so I went back to bed. All morning long, I kept trying to get up but ended back in bed. Finally at noon, I was able to make it to the kitchen to get my pain pills. I looked at the jar and was about to take, I think the whole jar cause I was thinking, if I take the whole jar, I will no longer have to deal with this. I just happened to look out the window and saw my little grandson playing in his driveway. He was about 3 years old then. When I saw him, I started crying and said, I can't do this. I picked up the phone, called my sister and said, when are you getting here. She could tell something was wrong. She immediately called my doctor. The doctors office kept calling me until she got here. She had a 3 hour drive to get here. I didn't want my kids or my husband to know how I was feeling cause I was so ashamed but of course they finally found out. My family doctor was on call at the hospital so I had to go in to see someone else and she wanted to commit me to a (crazy place) and I said no. She said she would have to unless my sister promised her she would stay with me. My sister stayed with me for 2 weeks and then another sister took her place. Thank god for family cause my husband had to go work. Of course my kids finally found out and the look on their faces when they came over to see me is a look I will never forget. My oldest then was 26 and he kind of yelled at me for what I tried to do and that kind of woke me up cause I was still just not eating, drinking and not doing anything. I had lost 35 pounds and was just bones. So this is one time I thank him for yelling at me. My youngest son was 22 and he cried and looked so sad. I don't ever want to hurt my kids like that again. So for those of you out there who ever think suicide, I know that at the time, we don't even know what we are doing, but please, seek help, its the ones left behind that end up hurting. Our pain will be gone but our loved ones pain will linger on forever. Since then, I was blessed to have another grandson, which I would have never come to know had I taken those pills that day. I think God had something to do with making sure I looked out the widow that day and made sure I saw my grandson playing in his driveway. So yes, I have been through hell and back, but it was worth it. Along with MS, I also am an asthmatic. In between all the surgeries, I was in the hospital many many times with asthma. I remember praying to God, if you can take something away, please take the asthma away cause I think I can deal with the MS but not being able to breath, I can't take. Being taken away by 911 is a pretty scary thing. Well this is my story. Keep well and take care. Judy |
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