PeopleWithMS.com

My name is Vesta (a.k.a.- Lexus).  I am 37 year old mother of 2 sons, Cody, 18 and Gavin, 11.  I have been with a great guy now for 6 years named Chris.  We live in a small town in Pennsylvania.  I also am a huge animal lover and a groomer.  I currently own 3 dogs; Ashe (German Shepherd), Joey (Beagle), and Bugbear (a god only knows what- which is why I say she’s a Manbearpig). I also have a parrotlet named Flufee NuNu, 6 parakeets and a 150 gal. fishtank full of cichlids.

I was diagnosed with MS on October 23, 2008 after a bout of Optic Neuritis.  I had thought that I possibly had a dog hair stuck down in my eye (after a week + of my sight going in my right eye), so I had left work early and went to the ER.  The doctor asked if I knew I had “floaters” in both of my eyes, not just one.  I told him I didn’t and he said that this was bigger than they could take care of and set me up an immediate appt with the eye doctor.  I went there, he did all his tests and said you have optic Neuritis and needed an MRI ASAP.  He said it was a good chance I had MS, but wanted to be sure with the MRI.  My son took me to the eye doctor praying I wasn’t going blind, poor kid.  Next day, MRI completed, it was confirmed. I had MS lesions all over my brain and was set up with an appt with the neurologist 2 weeks later.  Of course I had to go through all the steroids prior, which to me was hell.  Granted, my house was never cleaner, but I could seriously do without the 10 lbs I gained!  I seen the neuro, very nice man, who wants me to get some good insurance before starting any treatment and getting a spinal tap and blood work.  Needless to say, I have no insurance as of yet, despite all of my searching. 


Its funny.  I had symptoms for years- fatigue, tingling in my extremities, numbness, memory loss, etc., but I’m sure, like most, I would just tell my self “your being lazy”, “you need more rest”, “its just a pinched nerve”, “I’m just getting old”, etc.  I remember I would always ask myself’ “what’s wrong with you, you can do this”, but I couldn’t no matter what the task.  I was angry with myself for being lazy.  So, when they said MS, it was almost a relief.  I had a name and a reason for all the things I was going through.  My son, who thought I was going blind, was relieved also.  He said, “at least your not going blind, we can deal with MS.”  Gavin, my youngest on the other hand, was fairly upset.  He didn’t understand that it could be dealt with, but, he went online and read what it was and what can be done, so know he is ok with it all.  Yep, I’m kinda proud of those 2 boys.  Chris was in denial for a bit.  He keep telling me it had to be a virus, not MS.  His father has MS, so he knew what could/would/or can happen and he didn’t want that for me.  After it sunk in, he has been my biggest supporter and basically has things set up in his head on what he will have to do if this or that happens. 


I think like most, I have good days and bad days.  The past couple of weeks, my right side has been kinda numb and tingly, my eye has been screwy and my head has been hurting a lot.  Sometimes I have a lot of pain everywhere or in just certain spots.  My memory totally sucks.  Sometimes I limp. My emotions are a roller coaster (I was never an emotional person-I was the suck it up and deal with it type).   I still get up each day though and fight my way through all of it.  My biggest fear is losing my independence and I will fight to keep that as long as I can.  Now though, I give myself those well needed breaks and I’m not as hard on my self if I can’t accomplish things as planned.  I am learning to deal with things with an new perspective.  I am going to keep doing what ever I can do until I can do it no longer.  I still groom, though I am only part time now, full time would just kill me!  I plan on swimming as much as I can, go horseback riding and riding motorcycles, attend each and every professional/amateur wrestling match (they support MS!), and just do the things I enjoy!  MS can twist my arm as much as it likes......I won’t say “UNCLE!!!!!”