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We live in the beautiful medieval town of Ross-on-Wye close to the English/Welsh border, surrounded by stunning countryside. We moved here from the city three years ago and have never looked back. The hustle bustle and nose to tail traffic everyday was becoming stressful for Mel and we were aware that any form of stress was aggravating his ms condition. We had tried to cope with life since his dx, which came just eight months after we got married, and decided we needed to be in a more relaxed setting. Here the sky feels bigger, the sun shines brighter and it feels easier to cope. From previous marriages we have three beautiful children, three very special grandchildren (with number four due anytime now).......they are all very precious to us. Mel considers himself lucky...although we have no idea what the future holds, at this moment in time he is able to walk and work, unlike many of our friends who also have ms. He had been unwell on and off for a couple of years, but doctors were unable to decide what was wrong so told him "it's just one of those things" and sent him away. One day when he was driving, he felt an irritation in his eye - and having good training and discipline behind him as a pilot for 30 years - he called in at the nearest hospital to ask if they would wash out his eye so that he could continue his journey. What he summised to be a simple request turned our lives upside down and left us totally devastated. Two hours later I was called at work and requested to go to the hospital where I found Mel having intravenous steroids to arrest his eyesight and a lumbar puncture and MRI scan was booked for the following day. After one week we were given the news........he had ms. So what is ms? like so many others, we had heard the term but really had no idea what it was or how it would affect our lives. I was working full time, Mel had a good job, surely things could not be that bad? For a while he was very sick, my job was stressful, there were family issues and I felt that I had no one to turn to. After work I would trawl the internet for information...there must be others going through this? My job came to an end, Mel could no longer fly, I was horrified to have to watch the man I love in pain most days, everything changed dramatically. How would he feel if he couldn't fly? why did he drop that glass? why is he lying on the floor? why has he become so grumpy? why are the bills piling up? why is it my fault? ... I suffered a breakdown. Me? a breakdown? but I am the person that tackles everything head on and deals with it ! That was rock bottom for me....there was only one way to go.....UP ! Eventually, we found a support chat room, chat room? even this was new to us and we felt uneasy, but we were made welcome and could not believe that we had found other people in the same situation. We made many friends and chatting to them over a period of a few months, I realised just how many were struggling...both emotionally and financially....just like us. Before long I think I became part of the 'furniture' in the support group, sharing good days, bad days, and offering support. That wasn't enough for me, I needed to do something else. From that moment, there were months of 'red tape' and hard work setting up a charity and getting it officially registered....which happened in August 2003. Knowing that there were so many people struggling to make ends meet, and no way for them to even think about a holiday for the family, I launched the charity by getting myself sponsored for taking a 'wingwalk' on top of a bi plane......raising enough money to send a couple of families to the coast for a long weekend. I gained some local exposure in the press which resulted in being given use of a holiday home for one week....3 couples and 6 children enjoyed a great time just chilling out together, sharing experiences, playing in the sand.......what a difference it made to their frame of mind and well being....it makes the hard work worthwhile. I have my thinking cap on at the moment for my challenge this year ! so if anyone has any ideas? throw them my way ! I would love to reach more carers/partners.........I call it 'on the other side of ms' ...cos hey you guys, we live with it too 24/7 and I have to tell you it's not easy ! I mean we love you but it's not really our fault when you have your bad days, and we don't care that we don't have a full set of anything anymore, just don't get so grumpy with us ok? Everyone is invited to visit www.msfriendsuk.org sign the guestbook, open a message in the forum, send me a picture, a story, a poem, a joke, and a hug.....I need one too sometimes.......xx Lots of Love.........Ronnie xxxxxxx |
